a godless heathen

I haven’t always been an Atheist.  It’s a fairly new development in my life actually. I remember questioning the existence of God as a child; but I also remember being a part of a pretty cool & unique faith based community that just believed in God as a matter of fact.  God was loving and powerful, and we should obey his word.  Which, was actually quite conservative and dogmatic in the end.

I left my faith as an adult, not so much with a bang – but a slow fizzle.  It was a gradual transition.   I was an “irrelevant-ist” – someone to whom religion and the existence of God didn’t matter, and then an agnostic – someone who wasn’t sure, and then atheist.   I am sure now. Very sure.  God is something we humans just made up.

We did it to answer the big questions.  But we don’t need those simple answers anymore. We have science, and the scientific method to explain why there’s a sunset, and why the stars twinkle at night. We have rational thinking and philosophy to teach us right from wrong.  I am a pretty good person, even though I don’t have an imaginary being for which I am “being good for.”   The only order the universe is the one that exists innately, and all religion is really is – is a way to control the masses.  I still some good in it, but there’ s just SO much bad – it just isn’t for me.

I have to admit I can be a bit of a jerk about it.  I have a hard time accepting hypocrisy, especially as I’ve gotten older and more bitter.  (Bitter is delicious.) I am sure the simpleness of my explanation is insulting to someone of great faith.  But try as I might I just can’t pretend anymore. Nullus Deus. There is no God.

giving myself a prompted list

I write a lot, nearly every day at work. So much of it is “directed” though.  I write what’s called an “Individual Service Plan” every year for everyone on my caseload. That’s about 30 some odd people every year.  The purpose of the document is to provide a hand book about this individual  – what they can & can’t do, where they need support, and how all that support gets paid for. ( I do a lot of math/accounting too. Blarfg!)   I follow a template, but because  each person is unique each plan is a bit unique too. I enjoy that sort of writing. Finding little ways to personalize it, and making sure I get all the important details in. My plans can be used to define the goals and outcomes of services as well, so it’s important that they’re done right.  There are lots of rules to follow; and I do well with a checklist and big blue pen to check it off with.

This means when it comes to writing my own stuff…I get a little stumped.  I struggle with finding the right topic.   That’s part of why I started a blog again. To challenge myself to pick a topic and write something about it.  If you ever have a suggestion – please feel free to make it. It’s clearly good for me to have a prompt!

coming soon to a Ruthie is Fantastic blog near you

• Autism and the Son Rise Method at the Autism Treatment Center of America
• The failed drug war and the legalization of Cannabis in Missouri and the US in general
• where I am in my journey to a fitter, healthier longer living me.
• Doctor Who and my obsession with the TARDIS
• The Kansas City Royals.

As always, Thanks for reading.

Xoxo, Ruthie

*The individuals I serve are adults and children with various developmental/intellectual disabilities & their families/guardians.

how does this work again?

I went to the wayback machine.  I’ve been digging through my own archives. I’ve been reading things from 2004, 2006…and various other years.  It’s a total time suck, but I’ve enjoyed it.  I used to do SO much stuff online. I posted like every day, and created tons of skins, and added similes; i had a photo blogs and a design site.  I remember it, and  I don’t it.

The internet doesn’t work that way anymore though really.  Instead of having our own space, we all go to the same spaces. Facebook, twitter, Instagram, You Tube.  We share the space and supply our own content.  The spaces are default and have very little customization. I loved that part of the internet. Customizing my own space. Decorating my little corner of the web. Content was…almost..secondary.

I’ve already gotten sucked in a little bit, of course, to the decorating of this site.  My little picture is from Girls Night on Thursday the 4th at the K. The Royals lost and we got totally soaked in the rain, but it was a lot of fun.

Thanks for reading! 🙂

Xoxo, Ruthie

Hello world!

Hello, my name is Ruthie.  Way back when I had a blog.  This is my new one.

I had a blog before there was a word for blog. I was in college and it was sort of like a diary.  I had already fallen in love with making websites, designing and coding them and making them look pretty. Obsessed really. Then that transitioned into writing on them. It was so social.  It was before we had youtube, or twitter or facebook. It was the way I communicated with my friends online.

I think this blog will be something different. I want it to be ABOUT things.  I want it to be about freedom and positivity.  I want it to be about popular culture,  crafty DIY stuff, FOOD – and my journey with making myself healthier.  I want it to be about body image issues, anxity, and GIRL POWER! I want to promote diversity and acceptance, and want it to be fun.

Thanks for going on this journey with me.